There she is, the mom that seems that she has it all together. She always looks great, presentable, and her children are always well groomed and well mannered. I just want to loathe her. How dare her go out in public and show all of us other moms up? I got the kids dressed and fed, what else do you want from me? I deserve a gold star!
This train of thought is what normally destroys a good morning for me. Why can’t I have it all together and be like her? How in the world does she get her little girl to sit long enough and have her hair done? It boggles my mind sometimes. But then I have to sit back and remember, she may wake up at 5am. She may do that to have quiet time to herself and get herself ready before her chaos begins.
My Chaos looks a lot like, me hitting snooze at least 3 separate times (after at least two overnight cry sessions with the baby). Waking up with just enough time to get everyone ready and out the door. “Imagination Movers” on the tv. My 14 month old dancing, and running away from me while roaring like a dinosaur, naked. He is probably also flapping the diaper he’s supposed to be wearing. My 3.5 year old ignoring any request I have. Screaming like a banshee if I even get close to her head of hair. Fighting me because she wants to wear her “comfy pants” or PJs to school, not those scratchy jeans! Screaming she has to PEE! But daddy is in the bathroom trying to shave. My husband running around like mad looking for his boots, his name badge and pens. They are right where he left them on the bookshelf last night and by the door. All the while, I try to get myself ready. Most of the time it’s a lucky day if I get everyone’s teeth brushed, and shoes on before 730. Those are the days I play the lottery.
So sitting her and reflecting on “the mommy wars”, and the “she’s got it all together and flaunting in my face” mentality. Dang. I can see where we are all going wrong. I know I have forgotten the first rule of thumb for me. “Treat others how you want to be treated.” PERIOD. Do I want to be treated how I just thought about that mom? Is she really trying to be more perfect than God himself? Doubtful. I’m projecting. I’m projecting all my self loathing onto her. And that is not fair. It’s not fair to her, but really it’s not fair to me. Why do I feel the need to think loathing thoughts on a mom, making her way through the world, just like me. Yes she may be more stylish have a daughter that sits still to get her hair done. But it’s not a race. Man, is it not a race. That Mom deserves more respect than my mind will give to her, and to get any in return, I must show it. I will treat her how I want to be treated from here on out. With kindness and love. It might not be shown back to me, but that’s alright. If I’m showing them that I love them the way they are, maybe the tired looking soccer mom next car over will start doing the same. We are all in this together. It really does take a village to keep yourself sane, and raise your kids.
Maybe I should ask how she does it… And then offer some caffeine, or wine.
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