Mommy War Series: SS Kristi

'Mommy Wars' are basically high school cliques all over again, in our adult years. This is natural and people will always group based on interests and life styles. This does not bother me one bit because of course you will enjoy spending time with someone who shares the same interests. Here is what I do not like about these silly "mommy wars" and my experience with them. For a long time, at least the passed 5 years, I have tried to find a group that I feel like I belong too, or have a lot of common interest. There was always such judgment if you did not 100% believe in what the other moms in the group did.

First group is the Natural Moms aka crunchy moms. This group is typically mothers who cloth diaper, do extended breast feeding, no immunizations, no circumcision, natural birth, organic food, no t.v., a lot of them home school well you get the point. I am a LOT of those things and I am proud I have made those decisions for my family and children. With that being said I am NOT a lot of those things. I quickly realized unless I wanted to give my full self into their lifestyle I was not going to meet real friends nor would I ever meet real friends if I wasn't being 100% me.

Second group, Sports Moms. To me this means moms that are exercise fanatics.  They eat drink and sleep their children's sports, on the paleo diet or any other diet for that matter, cross fit, are always in work out clothes and so on. I am most certainly this mom in a lot of ways. I coach soccer and my kids and I love sports. Here is where I don't fit in, I am the only mom on the field with half sleeved tattoos, I hate dieting, I hate exercise and if we are talking sports, I prefer a beer in hand. So there I sat not really fitting into this mommy group either.

Last, but most certainly not least, The Cool Moms. Oh this group, this group has truly started to change the woman I am becoming and am. This group is the mom that always looks great, ALWAYS! The mom that gets everything from pinterest, that belongs to all the social events, PTO mom, nice car, stays in her entourage of friends at all times and so on and so fourth. You are all thinking of one person that fits this group right now, I know it! Okay, so for years I hated on this mom, couldn't stand how perfect they seemed, COULD NOT figure out why they felt the need to be so dolled up all the time! I want to do PTO but they aren't very welcoming to be honest (that part I still don't like). Okay, so the being dolled up all the time part was one of my biggest things with them. I don't know the reason they are getting dressed up, but I will say a guarantee they feel much better about themselves than I do in basically pjs.

So, I started this new thing, its called giving a shit about my appearance. Crazy I know! I started getting up (not everyday) and putting on a cute outfit, fixing my hair and I went and bought make-up still trial and error with that part but I am learning. I feel so much better through out my day, more energy, way more self confidence and not just frumpy mom. I am not JUST a mom, I am Kristi and I should feel like the beautiful woman I am. Now, I am not saying you need all these things to feel pretty, but it sure helps me. So now instead of looking at these moms and saying UGH. I look at them and compliment their boots, whether it be to myself or to them directly.  I look at them and think, 'oh good hair day girl.  Rock it!'  So thank you "cool moms" for making me find some confidence in myself!

One day I had this brilliant idea after trying to find a place of belonging! I thought, you know what, women need a group that it doesn't matter what type of mom you are. We are women, plain and simple (not simple really but you get it).  We need to unite as women with different beliefs, different lifestyles and a different approach to parenting. We can all learn something from each other and be more well rounded, understanding women. We need to stop trying to "belong" in one group we need to just be us. So, Secret Sisters came about. Lets open it up to everyone, post it in every single mom group on Facebook.  Lets bring all these mommas/women to one spot and see what happens! Absolute amazingness has happened! As different as we all are, we are sisters.  We have been brought together without all the silly stereotypes and become a sisterhood of woman who love, support and learn from each other. Secret Sisters has made me find ME and become the woman I am. I don't feel the need to belong to certain mom groups and conform myself to be just like them. I am still a part of all of the mommy groups in different ways, but I am myself and I am pretty damn happy with that!  Lets all stop this mommy war business and love and respect the women we all are!